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Pictures of me and my family, a michael jackson disk, a pair of colorful knee-high socks, Harry Potter books & merch, a hello kitty tee, money, pages me and my brothers colored, and a paper evaluating my life. | |
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| Is it possible that the people you've called your "best friends" for 5-6 years don't even call you once during summertime. Didn''t think so. I've relaized that all my friends are actually pretty bad friends. Maybe I'm a bad friend as well? But I've never stood someone up, nor called them a hypocrite (to their face) nor any of the other shit they've put me through. And I actually try to keep in touch, they don't bother. Whatever, I'm making new friends this year. I've put up with this for too long.l | |
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Chorizo with banana peppers, quesadillas in flour tortillas, chocolate chip cookies, chinese smoothie with tapioca, egg rolls, Godivia chocolate, and apple pie. I'd stuff myself til I burst. :) | |
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LOL, I know I rant to much. I want to see someone rant about people who rant. Just a thought... >.> | |
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I stopped trying to fit in. It worked. Kind of. | |
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| & tell you this.
15 things I'd say to 15 different people. No names, no specific order. Just read.
1. I could never rely on you, and I never will. You use me. You look down on me. You think I'm here to be your friend. Newsflash! I'm a person. You do not own me. You cannot choose to share me with others. I do not want to be your enemy, but I am starting to wonder whether I want to be your friend. Stop being so fake. You're not that cool. And I don't think you're as hot as you think you are.
2. I wish I hadn't said what I did. I wish I could have seized the opportunity. I wish I wasn't so stupid. I wish I could turn back time, because now all I can think about is what could have been. I think about you a lot. I wish you knew that. I wish I could tell you, but I'm a coward.
3. I know all the shit you have said behind my back. I'm not an idiot. And I know you're an attention seeker, and you probably just criticize others because you want people to listen to you, but I don't see the logic in turning people against me. How do I know you haven't told others all the secrets I've shared with you? I know a lot about what you have said about me, more than what you expect me to know. Thanks for breaking my trust. You're one of the reasons I don't trust anybody anymore.
4. I think you are an amazing person. And you totally get what I say. But sometimes you make me feel like an idiot.
5. You're too nice. And I'm sorry if I'm mean to you. I wish I could treat you as well as you treat me.
6. You fail at teaching. I don't know why anyone would want to learn from you. You wasted my time, and that really bothered me.
7. I may have forgiven you, but I still can't get over all the mistakes you've made. Everytime I see you, your mistakes are all I think about.
8. Please stop clinging to me so badly. It only makes me more ticked off when you push me away.
9. You are probably one of the few people that totally understands what I'm saying ALL THE TIME. Even if you don't agree, you tell me you understand, and I think you really do. Thank you so much for being my friend.
10. I want to get to know you better. You and I seem to get along great. I think we could be really good friends. But I am seriously wondering whether I should trust you. You seem to be the type of person that would push me away quickly.
11. I'm sorry I talk about you behind your back. I really do feel bad sometimes, but you set yourself up for it a lot. You're not that bad of a person, but I seriously think you should think more about how you communicate and act around other people.
12. I used to have a crush on you. And somebody used to always say that you and I were like a pair or something. I used to wish they were right, but whatever. I got over it. I'm glad we're good friends.
13. Thanks for totally listening to everything I have to say. Unlike those people who only talk about themselves, you seem to sincerely care and you ask questions and pay attention to everything I tell you. You probably know me better than most, and I barely know you.
14. I can't believe how much you've changed. I think I'm kind of disappointed, because we were once like sisters. And if it wasn't for that, I don't think we would have ever even talked in a million years.
15. You've changed, but I think you changed for the better. I like you much better when I spend less time with you. I don't think you lie to me anymore. | |
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| There are several people I can list in my little head right now that have neglected me this summer. And I've finally given up.
I alreday said that.
Well, I think it's time for a change. A change that's going to be hard for me, but it may get easier with time. I am no longer what everyone wants me to be. I shall be myself from now forth, and I am not going to allow peer pressure to hold me back from rising above all this high school crap. I refuse to be dragged into the depths of drama, and I'm willing to leave behind those who no longer matter.
What I value and have stuck to:
- Being drug-free.
- Abstinence.
- Good grades.
- Self-respect.
- Gaining the respect of others.
I try very hard not to be one of those ditsy high school girls giving in to whatever her guy wants. Not that I have a guy, mind, but it's my own personal rule- I'm not what you want me to be. I'm Laura, and that's not going to change until my heart stops and I'm six feet under.
Oh, in other news, I've finally thought up a brilliant plan for a novel. And this is on a topic that really interests me, so hopefully I'll pull through with this one.
And last but not least, I finished Breaking Dawn! It was interesting . . . to say the least. EXCELLENT WORK AGAIN MRS. MEYER. Will share my thoughts on it later.
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| That's right. I am so sick and tired of everybody using me when they need me and then pushing me away. Why is it that I am the one who has to watch every freaking thing I say because I'm afraid that the other person will get mad. People expect me to forgive and forget, while they hold their own stupid little grudges, but I'm telling you all this-- I NEVER forget. So every single time somebody gets mad at me, pushes me away, gets me pissed-- it sticks. I may forgive, but I never forget. I like to think that I have a little file cabinet in the back of my head, and let me tell you this-- your own little "criminal record" is stored in there, getting bigger and bigger as the time passes.
Now when I say "you", I may not actually mean you. Or I may, depending on who is reading this. I've had way too much time to think this summer and I have decided that I refuse to be used. I am not even trying anymore to keep in touch with people who don't even call me. I don't freaking care what you do with your life. because if you don't want me around, then it is none of my damn business. But let me tell you all who might actually be reading this one thing-- don't be expecting much once August rolls around.
*Nobody who actually deserves to read this crap is probably going to read this, but whatever. I give up. They'll get it in time. | |
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I am every bit as imperfect as I could be, and yet I have the highest expectations. | |
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Harry James Potter!
Of course. What can I say-- he is incredibly noble. And, if I could do half of what he does, I'd be a much happier person. The reason I think he is a likable character is because he does have his flaws, as do many people. No hero is perfect, and in this world we believe that everything has to be ideal. That is never going to happen, so we might as well appreciate what we have. Harry learns how to do that.
Ron is okay too, but he can be a git. But Rupert Grint plays him wonderfully.
Other characters I am fond of. . .
*The twins Hikaru and Kaoru from Ouran High School Host Club.
*Tadashi and Kei from Special A.
*Zero from Vampire Knight.
All these manga boys are just. . . sweet. And amazing. And I wish real boys would be smart like these guys, and know how to treat a girl. And each one of them has a flaw. The best characters have their flaws, that's what makes them original. And originality is the key to my heart.
<3 | |
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lauraluvx3's journal
